Pitch Vodcast
Self Introduction Email (Formal)
Subject: Formal Self-introduction Letter Dear Professor Blackstone My name is Dylan Goh, and I am writing to introduce myself to you. I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in mechanical engineering and I'm currently pursuing a degree also in mechanical engineering in Singapore Institute of Technology as a first year student. My ultimate goal in life is to gain as much knowledge and experience in engineering, so that I can make an impact in the world. Academics aside, I enjoy an active yet relaxing lifestyle. I actively participate in sports like long distance running, calisthenics and badminton while indulging myself in music like R&B and pop and playing musical instruments like guitar and piano during my recovery time from physical activities . I currently have a strong interest with building computers and have built about 10 computers of all sizes for myself and many others. There were many unique problems that I encountered and had to troubleshoot while under
Yo Dylan, here's some feedback for your pitch
ReplyDelete- The content in terms of your experiences is great and detailed, however I think you can try to link them back in more detail, as in how does it directly relate to what you can do in a company
- Your voice is kind of soft, so I think you can afford to speak up a little bit more.
- The organisation of your content is really well done, I could easily tell which parts are your points, explanations and examples respectively.
Hope you take this into consideration and good luck if you plan to repitch for the competition!
Also, easy top 10 pitch right here by Dylan.
ReplyDeleteI feel that the delivery, usage of conjunctions and pacing was controlled and smooth.
ReplyDeleteContent was sufficient, however, I could see you refering to a script from time to time which may not seem as professional.
Overall, solid pitch, hope you get top 10 for the competition:)
Thank you, Dylan, for the informative vodcast!
ReplyDeleteThe structure is good, having just enough elaboration for each point. All points are also relevant and are well explained as to how they relate to the job. Talking pace is just right and words are clearly articulated. However, during the part about NS and communication there seems to be some small errors in grammar. I think that a short conclusion to tie together the whole pitch would also make the pitch even better.
ReplyDelete